What I Learned Growing Up in a CulT
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I don’t remember the first time I realized I was in a cult.
Like most things in childhood, it felt normal—because I didn’t know anything else. I was born into it. My parents were devoted, and in our world, the leader’s voice mattered more than their own. Our community was tight. Rules were strict. Outsiders were dangerous. Questions were punishable. And obedience? That was love.
We didn’t call it a cult. We called it “The Way.” A path to truth, to salvation, to protection from the dark world. But the longer I stayed, the darker it became.
I left in my early twenties, carrying nothing but a small backpack and a head full of fear. But strangely, what I carried with me also helped me survive outside—especially in this chaotic, fast-paced, digital age.
Here’s what I learned growing up in a cult—and how it unexpectedly prepared me for the 21st century.
1. Question Everything, Even When It Feels Dangerous
In the cult, asking questions was a sin. You were either loyal or lost. I learned to silence my own doubts because I was afraid of being shunned—or worse, declared “unclean.”
But doubt is natural. It’s healthy.
The first time I asked, “What if they’re wrong?”—my hands shook. But that single question eventually saved my life.
Today, I ask questions all the time:
– Is this headline true?
– Who benefits from this fear?
– Is this relationship helping me grow, or keeping me small?
In a world overflowing with misinformation, marketing manipulation, and filtered realities, the courage to ask is survival.
2. Know the Power of Belief
Belief can build or destroy entire lives.
In the cult, people gave away their money, freedom, and families based on belief. I watched mothers abandon their children, convinced it was “God’s will.” I watched good men become cruel, because belief said “obedience is righteousness.”
Belief shapes action. And action shapes destiny.
Now, outside the cult, I see similar patterns—people blindly following ideologies, trends, influencers. Sometimes the “cults” of the 21st century are digital, algorithm-driven, dressed as self-help or productivity hacks.
But the lesson remains: what you believe, you become.
So choose your beliefs carefully. Challenge them. Update them. Beliefs should serve your growth, not cage it.
3. Community is Powerful—But It Can Also Be a Cage
Inside the cult, we had a community stronger than family. We helped each other, ate together, prayed together. For many, this was their only source of love and support.
But that love came with conditions: Obey, conform, don’t question, stay small.
Community can heal—but it can also control.
Now I build community with more care. I’ve learned to ask:
– Do I feel free to be myself here?
– Is disagreement allowed?
– Is love conditional on conformity?
In a world obsessed with likes, followers, and belonging, it’s easy to join groups that slowly shrink your soul. A healthy community should amplify your freedom, not replace your identity.
4. Listen to Your Gut—Even When Your Mind Disagrees
In the cult, I often felt something was wrong—when someone was punished unfairly, when teachings didn’t make sense, when I was told my intuition was evil.
But I ignored the feeling. Because fear is loud, and intuition is quiet.
Leaving the cult required learning to trust my inner compass, even when everything outside told me not to.
Now, I rely on that gut sense in daily life—when choosing work, relationships, or even what news to believe. In the chaos of the modern world, your intuition is your firewall. Listen to it.
5. Freedom Feels Like Chaos—At First
The day I walked away, the world outside felt enormous and terrifying. No rules, no guides, no voices telling me who to be. I didn’t even know what music I liked. I was 23 years old and didn’t know what food I preferred.
Freedom was overwhelming.
But slowly, painfully, I began to make choices. Some bad. Some beautiful. And through each one, I found pieces of myself.
Today, the world still feels chaotic. Algorithms tug at attention. Culture shifts daily. Freedom can feel like floating.
But I remind myself: Floating is better than being chained.
Even when the world is confusing, I’d rather live in the storm of my own choices than the silence of someone else’s control.
6. Healing Isn’t Linear, But It’s Possible
I won’t pretend I’m fully healed. There are still moments I flinch at authority, avoid eye contact in large groups, or fear being “too different.”
But healing isn’t a destination—it’s a pattern of choices.
Every time I speak up instead of staying silent, I heal a little.
Every time I let myself rest without guilt, I break an old rule.
Every time I love someone without fear of being judged, I reclaim a piece of my soul.
And if you’ve ever felt trapped—by belief, family, shame, culture—please know: it’s never too late to leave.
Conclusion: From Cult to Clarity
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