How did I believe that? A cult survivor looks back at his lost years
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In the new podcast former sect members reflect on end times, warnings of ‘astral larvae’ lurking in nightclubs and being in thrall to charismatic leaders – and the embarrassment and shame they feel now
Dave Mullins can’t quite believe he devoted 10 years of his life to a lie.
Idealistic and open-minded, he was 19 when he saw an advertisement for a free workshop on out-of-body experiences in Sydney. There he met a captivating, charismatic teacher who was thought to be able to read minds.
As a leader in gnosticism, the man believed thoughts and feelings smothered true consciousness and, as such, were sinful. His followers were prohibited from taking drugs and drinking – nightclubs were full of “astral larvae” that poisoned spiritual development – or from reaching orgasm during sex.
Before long, Mullins was all in. Every waking moment he monitored his thoughts and urges, trying to destroy his sin. By night he meditated and, wearing a cloak, embarked on rituals and attempts at group astral projection. Lying together, 10 to 15 core followers would intentionally cycle in and out of sleep with the hope of entering higher dimensions and connecting with eternal beings.
When the “master” announced that a massive wave was going to destroy Sydney, the entire group moved to Melbourne. Later, followers laboured on a new meditation centre, only to be told, when the building was finished, that they had done a poor job – so the building would be used not as a community space but as a home for the master and his wife.
Mullins became accustomed to being racked by guilt and self-criticism, set against a backdrop of urgency: these were end times and this was their last shot at redemption. On occasions, he remembers feeling almost supernatural.
“I went through some pretty weird stuff,” Mullins, who went on to move to Canada with his wife and baby to establish the sect in Toronto, says from his home in Sydney. “Now that I’m saying it out loud, I’m like, ‘What is wrong with me? How did I believe that?’”
Read more https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2026/feb/28/cult-survivors-stories-aftercult-podcast-ntwnfb
Content retrieved from: https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2026/feb/28/cult-survivors-stories-aftercult-podcast-ntwnfb.
