Gay ex-Mormons are coming out of the closet & they have A LOT to say
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Something we know all too well is that Mormonism and queerness just don’t mix. We’ve talked about “ex-gay” mormons before—who aren’t actually ex-gay at all—as well as Mormons who remain married to their wives, despite openly cruising other dudes. But what about ex-Mormon gays who have seen the light? What’s it like to survive a grim anti-gay upbringing and try to accept yourself as an openly gay adult?
Luckily for us, there are plenty of ex-Mormons who are openly telling their stories, starting with a recent TikTok from a married man who recently decided to walk away from the church and embrace who he really is.
“About three months ago,” John says, “I came out to my wife of nine years as gay. We have two beautiful children together, and we both had a beautiful life.”
Since John came out and left the church, their family’s life has “turned upside down.” Which makes perfect sense, since Mormonism is famously horrible at accepting queer people.
“As a former Mormon and a trans woman,” writes Nadine Smith in a 2022 article, “it’s been all too rare in my life to know or see people who have come from the world I came from, or who have gone through a similar process of hardship and self-discovery. When you grow up in a community as conformist as the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (LDS), as it is more formally known, your entire life is defined for you, so learning to define yourself beyond the church can be an intense struggle for those who outgrow the church and transition into a more secular life.”
This struggle is sadly under-discussed, for complex reasons. Even though many gay Mormons find a way out and end up embracing a freer life, the teachings that were drilled into their heads from a young age still stay with them.
“I have this subconscious fear that somewhere, in the small off chance everything that damn church said was true,” one queer ex-Mormon wrote in a Reddit thread, “that I would be sent to eternal punishment for only wanting to be happy.”
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