Posted inNews Islanders urged to familiarise themselves with signs of coercive control
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A campaigner has shared a checklist to help islanders recognise the signs of coercive control – behaviour described as “one of the most insidious forms of abuse” – as part of a governemnt awareness drive.
Samantha Billingham, founder of UK organisation Stronger Beginnings, is encouraging islanders to familiarise themselves with the ‘ABC’ checklist she has developed.
Drawing on her own experience of abuse, the resource points to changes in appearance, behaviour and conversation that may suggest someone is in a controlling relationship.
After having spoken out about her experience in March, when the governemnt launched the coercive control campaign, Ms Billingham is again sharing her story this October to mark Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
She explained: “If we’re not talking about coercive control, we’re not talking about domestic abuse. When someone is experiencing coercive control because they may not talk about it, it can be difficult to help them. But as I know from first-hand experience, there are often things which change about someone who is in a controlling relationship.
“The ABC I have created stands for Appearance, Behaviour and Conversation. These are all things which might change in someone and can be looked out for. This can be particularly important at work, and sometimes, that’s the only safe place for the victim to be.
“Changes in appearance can relate to someone not being well-groomed. Behaviour changes can include things like not making eye contact or being quiet and withdrawn. Changes in conversation can include being hesitant or evasive. Loved ones, friends, family and colleagues can help a person who might be experiencing this just by listening.”
Speaking to Express earlier this year, Ms Billingham revealed the devastating reality of coercive control that kept her trapped in an abusive relationship for years.
At first, her partner did not hit her, but he monitored her movements, cut her off from friends, timed her bathroom visits and accused her of infidelity whenever she left the house.
Later, the control escalated into violence, and she eventually escaped after he assaulted her while she was holding their infant daughter.
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