‘Incel forums almost destroyed me as a teen. This is my message for parents of teen boys.’
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At 14, James* would lie awake at night, scrolling through forums that told him what he already feared: that he was broken, and no girl would ever want him.
He started shaping himself into someone he thought they would notice. Someone they couldn’t ignore. Someone who knew how to manipulate, dominate, and control.
He thought it would make him powerful. At least, that’s what the internet promised.
Instead, it nearly destroyed him.
First, listen to this episode of The Quicky for more on how young boys are being exposed to dangerous online ideologies and incel culture. Post continues below.
It started, like it does for so many teenage boys, with a crush.
James was awkward, a little heavier than the other kids, and desperately craving connection. A target of school bullies, James always felt as if he was on the outside — someone they’d “fly in for fun but not for serious topics”.
When a girl showed him attention, it meant everything to him. But when she chose someone else, the hurt cracked him wide open.
“I felt like I f***ed up something and blamed myself,” he told Mamamia. “Seeing other classmates getting into relationships, I really got the FOMO feeling and I really thought, ‘Something is wrong with me’.”
In his desperation, James stumbled across “pickup artist” content — a murky corner of the internet offering dating advice that quickly morphs into a toxic ideology.
The promises were seductive: Follow these rules. Say these lines. Control the interaction. Never be rejected again.
Content retrieved from: https://www.mamamia.com.au/incel-forums-toxic-masculinity-recovery/.
