I was a neo-Nazi for 7 years going through life in constant hate and fear. My daughter was the major push I needed to finally quit.
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Arno Michaelis regrets the harm he caused and now tries to prevent more pain and suffering through his work. Courtesy of Arno Michaelis
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- Arno Michaelis was drawn into the neo-Nazi ideology at age 16.
- He spent seven years as a white nationalist, living in constant fear and hate of everyone unlike him.
- After leaving that life behind, he finally found what he’d been searching for all along.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Arno Michaelis, a former neo-Nazi who works with the organization Parents for Peace that helps radicalized individuals. It’s been edited for length and clarity.
For seven years, I was a white nationalist skinhead and the front man of a neo-Nazi metal band based in Milwaukee.
During that time, I lived in fear and anger, driven by a violent ideology that twisted history into mythology and cast me as a hero in a delusional war.
However, that “heroism” was hollow. The life I led was toxic to myself and everyone around me.
Michaelis was attracted to the neo-Nazi ideology that he could be a hero for his race. Courtesy of Arno Michaelis
I was drawn in when I was 16. I was an angry, lonely kid, searching for something: identity, purpose, belonging.
I found it, or thought I did, in a fantasy: the idea that I was part of a master race under siege.
I was into Greek and Norse myths as a kid, and Nazi ideology sold itself as the real-life version. It told me I was one of the “noble few” standing up against dark, corrupting forces.
That story was intoxicating, and listening to it through the music drew me in.
I wasn’t a real musician. I couldn’t carry a tune, but I could scream loud enough to whip a crowd into a frenzy, and that was enough.
Our goal was to spread the ideology through music, to indoctrinate others like I had been. Music was the device that allowed us to feel united and righteous in our hate.
Being a neo-Nazi, though, wasn’t empowering, it was exhausting.
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