Coercive Control: ‘I was 12 when Mum’s new boyfriend moved in. I didn’t know I’d spend years trying to disappear.’
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Her mother, often caught in the middle, seemed to genuinely believe her partner was simply trying to be a good parent.
“She’d sneak into my room and say sorry. ‘He’s just stressed about work. Things will get better. Try being more understanding.’ But when it mattered, she’d defend him. His meanness became ‘protection.’ His put-downs became ‘trying to help,'” Sarah said.
According to Leneen Forde Chair in Child and Family Research, Professor Silke Meyers, it’s not unusual for one parent not to immediately identify coercive or emotionally abusive behaviours perpetrated by the other parent.
“I think there’s always a chance that a parent may not recognise what the other parent is doing or aiming for in their interaction with the children until the harm is manifesting in concerning behaviours, whether internalised or externalised,” explained Professor Meyers.
“Especially if the abusive parent is good at what they do. In other words, a skilled perpetrator will manipulate the system around them, including the other parent, to minimise the risk of detection of their harmful behaviour towards the child or children.”
“Emotional abuse may take many forms.”
Professor Meyers says coercive control and emotional abuse of children often mirrors what we know from the adult context.
“Emotional abuse of children may take many forms and often intersects with verbal abuse,” Professor Meyers said.
Content retrieved from: https://www.mamamia.com.au/stepfather-coercive-control/.
