Advocates supporting harsher punishments for coercive control
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Advocates are pushing for the narrative to change about intimate partner violence and coercive control in intimate partner relationships.
On July 19th, 23-year-old Madisson Cobb was fatally shot in a parkade while leaving work in Calgary, and her ex-boyfriend is facing first-degree murder charges for her death. According to the Calgary Police Service, the fatal incident happened after Cobb was repeatedly stalked and harassed by the accused 26-year-old.
CEO of YWCA Lethbridge and District Jill Young says that, unfortunately, Cobb’s story is a familiar one that is seen all too often, as every six days there is someone who is killed by a person who told them I love you.
“It is so important for not only the victim, but family and friends to recognize that in this type of relationship that is volatile, it is not about the people. It is about control with that perpetrator,” Young says. “Within six months of leaving a partner, that is the most dangerous time for a person.”
Young states Cobb did everything she was supposed to do; she went through the legal system. So instead of asking what more she could have done to protect herself, Young says the conversation needs to switch to what we as a society can do to be more aware of these pieces. She adds that we need to ask where the legal system can step in earlier, so a situation does not lead to physical harm or a fatality.
“From what I have read, from what I have heard, the perpetrator’s family was also concerned for Madison’s safety. You can see that they were seeing the signs and the danger, but they put that back onto Madison to tell her, ‘We think that you’re in danger,’” Young says. “I’m glad, but we all need to know what to do next. What do we do more than just tell Madison, ‘Don’t walk alone at night? Put in the restraining order.’”
“We need to say, we’ve got you, and we are going to start looking at what his actions are doing and start responding to what he’s doing because his mental health, his actions are going to cause harm. That is where we failed as a society on Madison.”
In November of 2023, a private member’s bill known as Bill C-332 was brought to the House of Commons, which would strengthen protections for victims of domestic violence in the criminal code and would criminalize coercive control towards an intimate partner. The bill was sent to the Senate in 2024.
Young says it is important for people to understand what coercive control is and the danger it can pose. She explains it can start with something as simple as comments such as “you don’t have to worry about money because you’re not great at math, but I’ve got you. I love you.” According to the YWCA CEO, these comments can be taken as a loving gesture, and that is part of why many don’t pick up on it as a sign of isolation.
“Many people, especially those who haven’t experienced this type of violence, associate it with something like isolation, such as being locked up in a basement, but it is not that. It is very subtle acts and comments and behaviours that actually begin to erode an individual’s sense of independence and autonomy.”
“So when we look at our natural resources, our family, our friends, they don’t see the full picture. They don’t often see what’s happening behind those closed doors or happening over and over again. They will see a small snippet of time, and the family and friends need to be able to pick up on those red flags or follow their gut sooner. Because it is so important for everyone to realize that by the time you see bruises on someone, we are far too late.”
Young says it is important to have conversations with youth as early as possible about confidence, exemplifying healthy relationships, and appropriate actions, because that could help the next generation. She explains it will help create our own self-worth and our own set of resources with friends, families and communities; creating more connections to ourselves that will make it harder for a perpetrator to isolate.
The accused appeared in court on Friday, while on Saturday, friends and family of Cobb shared their support for Bill C-332 outside the Calgary Courthouse.
Content retrieved from: https://www.mylethbridgenow.com/57377/news/crime/advocates-supporting-harsher-punishments-for-coercive-control/.
