This is the brutal reality of life after coercive control.
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For too long, coercive control has been the “invisible” reality of domestic abuse, leaving thousands of Australian women without clear legal recognition of their experiences. While NSW, Queensland and South Australia have now criminalised coercive control, other states and territories are still considering or developing standalone offences. In our new series , Mamamia is unpacking the warning signs, the profound impact, and the legal shifts, finally naming this behaviour for exactly what it is.
To protect the safety of the woman and children involved in this story, all names and several key identifying details have been significantly altered.
When Sophie* left her relationship the real battle began. This is the reality of the aftermath—and the invisible army of women holding survivors up.
Those who carried the immediate weight of the aftermath weren’t part of the formal system. It wasn’t the police, the lawyers or the support services who held things together in those early months. It was her friends and family. In particular, her mum.
“She had to significantly adjust her own life and financial plans,” Sophie told Mamamia.
In the period since Sophie separated from her former partner, her mother has faced a significant and exhausting financial burden to help hold things together.
Watch: Coercive Control has been criminalised. What does that mean? Post continues after video.
The money has gone towards legal fees, groceries, tutoring and the endless stream of practical expenses that come with trying to stabilise a life after a relationship has ended.
Alongside the financial support has been the ongoing practical and emotional support — school pickups, meals, being available to help with the grandchildren.
“She didn’t ask for this,” Sophie said. “And I didn’t ask that of her. In fact, I asked the opposite.”
But what Sophie has come to understand since leaving is that the aftermath of coercive control can be just as traumatic as the duration, and the impact rarely ends with the victim-survivor. Because survivors need support, and for many, that support lasts years.
Public discussions about domestic and family violence often focus on the point of leaving. While there is increasing awareness of the barriers women face in leaving controlling relationships and the risks involved in separation, far less attention is placed on what comes next.
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Content retrieved from: https://www.mamamia.com.au/coercive-control-aftermath/.
