‘I ended up just getting through each day’: Online series highlights male victims of domestic abuse, with help available in Harrow
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A national campaign to raise awareness of hidden forms of domestic abuse has featured the experiences of male victims, including a man who suffered more than two decades of violence from his wife.
The session was part of the Spotlight Series – a programme of online learning events hosted by the NHS Trust responsible for Northwick Park Hospital, and aims to shine a light on under-recognised aspects of abuse, including coercive control, stalking, and forced marriage.
One of the speakers was Richard Spencer, who appeared on the television documentary My Wife, My Abuser. He described how the abuse started with belittling comments and escalated to physical violence.
“Each attack was followed by periods of calm and I ended up just getting through each day with no thought of the future,” he said.
“A lot of people still think the idea of a woman being able to hurt a man isn’t something to be taken seriously and abused men come up with all sorts of excuses to justify their other half’s behaviour.
“I became estranged from my family, was worried that the authorities wouldn’t believe me and, wrongly, believed my wife would change as she was always remorseful after an attack.
“My advice to anyone putting up with this sort of abuse, male or female, is not to justify it, shrug it off or think that you are to blame.”
Other cases highlighted in the talk included a soldier who had served in Iraq and Afghanistan who was terrorised by his wife, and NHS manager Gareth Jones, who lost over four stone and was not allowed to use the toilet or shower without his partner’s permission.
A survey by charity SafeLives revealed more than 50,000 NHS staff experienced domestic abuse in the past year, with nurses three times as likely to be affected.
Content retrieved from: https://harrowonline.org/2025/07/16/i-ended-up-just-getting-through-each-day-online-series-highlights-male-victims-of-domestic-abuse-with-help-available-in-harrow/#goog_rewarded.
